A lot of folks are looking for a real estate mentor.
I get it. There’s a ton of real estate investing info out there. So much, in fact, that it’s easy to get overwhelmed.
Everyone is talking up their market, strategy, and pushing their bias.
The stakes seem high. And, seemingly, one false move could result in financial ruin.
So it makes sense why so many people are looking for help in the form of a mentor.
The problem is nearly everyone seeking a real estate mentor is going about it all wrong. In fact, the romanticized version of a mentor rarely exists today.
And that’s what folks tend to focus on and why they struggle with this key step.
The reality is your mentor is going to be a bunch of tools and connections you make along the way.
It’s more of a network than it is one individual with a bunch of specific knowledge.
The quicker you realize that, the sooner you’ll be making progress. So let’s unpack what a real estate mentor looks like today as well as common mistakes people make looking for one.
Two Things Not To Do When Looking For A Real Estate Mentor
There are two cringeworthy things I consistently get from people that are looking for help with their real estate investing.
While I understand the intention, both of these tactics backfire. I will either completely ignore these folks, prioritizing other messages and inquiries, or I will send them a quick link or two.
So what are these mistakes?
Mistake #1: Asking To Pick Your Brain
There is nothing that makes me cringe more than an ask to “pick” my brain.
I mean, it just sounds gross and unpleasant. And it generally is!
Every time I have a conversation with someone like this it’s a bunch of low-level questions that are easily answered on my blog in far greater detail than I can give over the phone.
This approach is insulting, and if you want to be taken seriously by folks I’d recommend avoiding it at all costs.
Mistake #2: Asking For Mentorship
Slightly less insulting is the straightforward, no-holds-barred ask to act as someone’s mentor.
I get this request as well. And, while it’s flattering, you have to consider what’s really being asked here.
You are requesting that someone that doesn’t know you takes time to teach you things that have taken them years to learn.
At the risk of sounding like a jerk… why would they do this? And why for you?
While innocent, people that ask for you to be their mentor aren’t being considerate of your personal bandwidth.
How To Find A Real Estate Mentor The Right Way
So if you shouldn’t be requesting to pick anyone’s brain or flat out asking for them to be your mentor, how do you go about finding a real estate mentor at all?
You need to be far more tactful, helpful, and patient.
Here are three things you should be doing if you really want to get the help you’re looking for and find mentorship.
Tactic #1: Observe And Interact Before Messaging
If you have a specific person in mind to be your real estate mentor, the best thing you can do is take some time to research them.
Find whatever social media platform they are most active on and start interacting. The key here is to do it in a way where you aren’t being creepy.
Comment on their posts here and there, like things, etc. The idea is to become a familiar face before you ever directly contact them.
If they have a blog, read their stuff. The more the better!
Whenever I talk with someone that’s clearly read my articles I’m always far more inclined to help.
Why?
Because I know they put in the time to learn rather than expecting me to simply regurgitate what I’ve already spent hours putting out there publicly.
I can’t tell you how many calls I’ve done where I keep repeating, “I have a great blog post about that…”
Tactic #2: Attend Meetups And Share What You’re Doing
You can also find great real estate mentors offline. If you aren’t attending local real estate meetups, you absolutely should be!
Even if you aren’t investing locally, surrounding yourself with like-minded people is invaluable.
The issue here is people are extremely tempted to make our cardinal mistakes in-person as well.
You should be listening to what people do, understanding their background, and observing more than anything.
Resist the urge to ask someone to pick their brain. You’ll absorb plenty by listening to the conversations around you.
Eventually, show up at these meetups and start talking about your own deals. People will start offering you help without you having to ask!
Tactic #3: Find Ways To Help Others
Whether you’re approaching people in-person or online, the most powerful thing you can do is add value before you make an ask.
In fact, if you can help someone with a problem they have, you won’t have to ask for anything. They will immediately want to help you.
People hear this and understand it, but still screw it up.
You cannot go around simply offering someone general help. And saying, “If there’s anything I can help you with please let me know” does not count as helpful.
When you do that, you put the burden on the other individual to figure out a way you can be helpful. They’re too busy for that and chances are you can’t help them with anything obvious.
So the key here is not to force it. If there’s a very obvious way you can help someone, be specific and tell them.
There’s a fine line to walk here, but if you can execute it well there’s no better way to get on someone’s radar.
Don’t Spin Your Wheels Looking For A Real Estate Mentor
Most people looking for a mentor are being lazy.
They feel like they need one to be successful, but they’re really just staying busy going nowhere.
It’s like starting a company and spending all your time thinking about the logo and name rather than getting out there and finding customers.
Once you get serious about real estate investing, the best thing you can do is get out there and do your first deal.
This will force you to learn “on the job”, network with like-minded people, and find your tribe. Together, this experience and the relationships you build will become your real estate mentor.
Inevitably, you will find people that are willing and able to help you. And hopefully you’re able to help them too!
Once you understand mentorship is more nuanced than what you’ve envisioned in your head you’ll have more success finding the help you need throughout your journey.
Good luck!